I Can’t Troll

So, for our third module I decided to take on the art of trolling. Instead of trolling per se, I would play a multiplayer match in a video game and not do any of the objectives or help my team in any way. I chose this module because I knew it would be hard for me to troll or grief as this particular brand of trolling is called. I’m the kind of gamer that is suuuuuper thorough. Like I’m not a perfectionist or a completionist when it comes to games but I’m the one who probably gets all 100 feathers scattered across all of Italy.

I chose my game to be Team Fortress 2 one of my all time favorite games. It is multiplayer based and it was perfect for my little experiment. I’ve committed over 800 hours of my life into that game and people have told me that I’m pretty good at it. I typically am one of the top three on the scoreboard during objective based games and I know my way around their wave based co-op mode, Mann Vs. Machine. That is why I made the decision to do my griefing in Mann vs. Machine. The objective of that game is to hold off waves and waves of robots while working with 5 other teammates to survive. I thought that was the perfect opportunity to just not do that.

Team Fortress 2 is also known for its ridiculousness and its laidback and carefree atmosphere. Here is a screenshot of myself in a lawn chair and a Pyro in a swimming pool.

So, yeah. TF2 is pretty chill.

Now, I chose this module solely based on the fact that I knew it would be virtually impossible for me to do any form of trolling. I have always been one to do the objectives no questions asked and I would often do them well. So, I challenged myself to simply not do what I was supposed to do.

I got into the game as per usual, choosing the engineer class because no one ever does. I made things simple for myself: just don’t help the team. Don’t kill any robots. Don’t be productive. I got 10 minutes in before I felt a weird itch and I got really twitchy with the need to do something. The announcer counted down to 0 and the robots started flooding in and I told myself: “don’t help them”. Not killing the robots and not doing what I was supposed to made everything feel…empty and not fulfilling. I felt like I was missing something in addition to my insatiable need to be the very best, that no one ever was.

I finally threw my hands into the air and did was I did best and we won.

So, that made me wonder: am I a follower? Have I gotten to the point where I simply do what I’m told? No questions asked? But I knew that wasn’t the truth. I’m a highly independent person and I can recall times where I fooled around on a game server though that was in conjunction with everyone else and we were all genuinely having a good time. I consider myself a chaotic neutral with some bouts into neutral good going by WoW standards  but when it comes to video games or at least Team Fortress 2 I’m a lawful good, I suppose. I mean, the harshest I was during my trolling sojourn was this:

And that was before the game even started.

So, perhaps there are just certain people who enjoy trolling and I’m obviously not it. I like having fun but not at the expense of others and I think that one of the best ways to have fun in video games is to do what you are supposed to do. I mean, that’s one of the reasons people play video games: to immerse themselves into the environment and the world.

Trolls are sadists in a way, I suppose. Though not to an incredible extent. I just can’t seem to find satisfaction in not doing an objective in something I’ve put time and energy and, to some extent, money into. I like having fun and it makes it even better when others are too.

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