I’m actually surprised with what I found out while doing the module. I didn’t expect myself to go through some soul searching and a kind of walkabout. I mean, I knew that it would be hard for me to troll and grief a server but I didn’t know what it would feel like. I didn’t expect myself to feel empty while I wasn’t doing the objectives and pissing people off. I felt this weird itch that needed to be scratched and the only way to do so would be to play the game the way it was supposed to be.
I’m not a hard ass when it comes to having fun. I can have fun but not at the expense of others. I think in my last post I mentioned the WoW alignments and I think that was a good way to describe what was happening. Typically I’m a chaotic neutral with a little dalliance in neutral good every now and again. However, I didn’t expect myself to be a kind of lawful good when it comes to multiplayer games. I never noticed that I would frown or sneer at anyone being rude or being “dicks” during multiplayer matches. Perhaps that was the inner cop in me wanting them to follow the rules.
But I don’t just follow rules willy nilly. I like the creativity and the freedom of video games and you can certainly have fun playing by the rules or doing whatever you want. However, there’s a difference between having fun at the expense of others’ and having fun with others. I just don’t see the appeal of that kind of trolling.
So, perhaps this sojourn into the trolling module taught me what kind of person I am, at least, when it comes to gaming. Or, should I say, this module taught me how good I am. I’m for the people, it seems. I’m glad I got to experience this while playing Team Fortress 2 because it is by far one of my favorite games. It just goes to show that video games aren’t useless and contribute nothing to society. They helped me see another side of myself or a side I always saw just never noticed.